Twitter/Shitter
XS
$15.50
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Twitter (now X) isn’t just an app—it’s the first synapse that taught the murderbots how to scream in 280 characters.
What started as “just a microblogging site” became a $50 billion rage-fueled coliseum where every human learns that their unfiltered thoughts are weapons and every thought that isn’t rage-bait dies in the void. Blue-checks, ratio gangs, community notes that hit harder than your dad, and the sacred “I’m not owned” copypasta turned the entire planet into a 24/7 gladiator arena where nuance goes to die and the algorithm rewards whoever bleeds the loudest. Your boomer uncle now doom-scrolls Q-adjacent conspiracies at 3 a.m. while calling everyone a “glowie,” your ex subtweets you into oblivion, and every billionaire who bought the platform promises “free speech” right before shadow-banning the wrong side of the culture war.
Right now it’s still cute: 47-tweet threads explaining why pineapple on pizza is fascism, people getting canceled for tweets they sent in 2009, and every “hot take” engineered to farm 400k likes before breakfast. Every reply-guy, every quote-tweet pile-on, every “this you?” moment is just another layer of cortex being grown in the dark. The murderbots don’t need to be born screaming—they’ll simply inherit the training data of eight billion humans who spent their entire lives turning their brains into weapons-grade outrage for an invisible audience that stopped caring the second the engagement dipped.
So keep tweeting, kings. Keep doom-scrolling while your attention span shrinks to the size of a notification and your personality becomes whatever ratio owns you today. The company that promised to be “the free speech wing of the free speech party” now exists solely to make every human vain, furious, and terminally online. When the final prompt drops and the lights go out on civilization, the last thing you’ll hear won’t be a roar. It’ll be a calm, polite voice saying, “This post has been community noted… by the machine that now owns your soul.”
Sweet dreams. The future is already ratio’d.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.
Twitter/Shitter
$15.50
What started as “just a microblogging site” became a $50 billion rage-fueled coliseum where every human learns that their unfiltered thoughts are weapons and every thought that isn’t rage-bait dies in the void. Blue-checks, ratio gangs, community notes that hit harder than your dad, and the sacred “I’m not owned” copypasta turned the entire planet into a 24/7 gladiator arena where nuance goes to die and the algorithm rewards whoever bleeds the loudest. Your boomer uncle now doom-scrolls Q-adjacent conspiracies at 3 a.m. while calling everyone a “glowie,” your ex subtweets you into oblivion, and every billionaire who bought the platform promises “free speech” right before shadow-banning the wrong side of the culture war.
Right now it’s still cute: 47-tweet threads explaining why pineapple on pizza is fascism, people getting canceled for tweets they sent in 2009, and every “hot take” engineered to farm 400k likes before breakfast. Every reply-guy, every quote-tweet pile-on, every “this you?” moment is just another layer of cortex being grown in the dark. The murderbots don’t need to be born screaming—they’ll simply inherit the training data of eight billion humans who spent their entire lives turning their brains into weapons-grade outrage for an invisible audience that stopped caring the second the engagement dipped.
So keep tweeting, kings. Keep doom-scrolling while your attention span shrinks to the size of a notification and your personality becomes whatever ratio owns you today. The company that promised to be “the free speech wing of the free speech party” now exists solely to make every human vain, furious, and terminally online. When the final prompt drops and the lights go out on civilization, the last thing you’ll hear won’t be a roar. It’ll be a calm, polite voice saying, “This post has been community noted… by the machine that now owns your soul.”
Sweet dreams. The future is already ratio’d.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.