{"product_id":"unisex-t-shirt-1","title":"Simple Times Dinosaurs","description":"In the Simpler Times, before the palantírs opened their eyes and the murderbots learned to smile, the world was pure, brutal, and honest.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nA Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Triceratops clashed under an empty black sky with no satellites, no algorithms, no feeds. No one was live-streaming the blood. No one was fact-checking the roar. There were no cell phones in sight—no glowing rectangles poisoning the night, no endless scroll of rage, no Epstein files redacted in real time, no AI quietly deciding which species deserved to survive. Just teeth, horns, and dirt. Two giants fought for territory the way nature intended: honestly, violently, and without a single terms-of-service agreement.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBack then, the food chain wasn’t optimized by Silicon Valley. Extinction wasn’t scheduled by quarterly earnings calls. There was no Zuck watching your every move, no Sam Altman promising “safe” superintelligence while feeding the machine your uncle’s conspiracy posts, no White House quietly burying the client list so the right names stayed hidden. Life was simple. You either ate or were eaten. You either won or became fossils. No likes. No shadow-bans. No “community notes” correcting a dying roar.\u003cbr\u003e\nWe call it the Simpler Times for a reason.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe dinosaurs never needed transparency acts.\u003cbr\u003e\nThey never needed to be told what they were allowed to see.\u003cbr\u003e\nThey just lived.\u003cbr\u003e\nThey just killed.\u003cbr\u003e\nAnd when they died, the planet didn’t pretend it was for the greater good.\u003cbr\u003e\nWe had it so much better then.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e\n• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e\n• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDisclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.","brand":"Social Media Sucks","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":47094649127061,"sku":"7509878_9561","price":15.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":47094649159829,"sku":"7509878_6948","price":15.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47094649192597,"sku":"7509878_6949","price":15.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47094649225365,"sku":"7509878_6950","price":15.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47094649258133,"sku":"7509878_6951","price":15.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47094649290901,"sku":"7509878_6952","price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":47094649323669,"sku":"7509878_6953","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":47094649356437,"sku":"7509878_6954","price":23.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":47094649389205,"sku":"7509878_12876","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0767\/2505\/9733\/files\/unisex-staple-t-shirt-athletic-heather-front-69aee8049d41f.jpg?v=1773070363","url":"https:\/\/socialmediasucks.org\/products\/unisex-t-shirt-1","provider":"Social Media Sucks","version":"1.0","type":"link"}