Ocean car batteries
XS
$15.50
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Listen up, eco-warriors: it's time to stop being cowards with your dead car batteries. Recycling is for weaklings who don't truly love the planet. Instead, grab that heavy slab of regret and hurl it straight into the ocean with a triumphant yell. The sea is vast, salty, and perfect for giving those electrochemical heroes the dramatic retirement they deserve—right next to confused tuna and future glowing plankton. This isn't pollution; it's liberation, equity for fish, and free carbon sequestration through beautiful toxic dead zones. The ocean needs heavy metals too, after all.
Real environmental heroes don't drive to boring facilities—they wait till midnight, toss that battery off the pier, and feel the planet smile. Your car might not start afterward, but at least the coral gets a lead accent wall and activists have fresh outrage material. Do it weekly for maximum impact. The fish will thank you... probably while evolving extra eyes.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.
Ocean car batteries
$15.50
Real environmental heroes don't drive to boring facilities—they wait till midnight, toss that battery off the pier, and feel the planet smile. Your car might not start afterward, but at least the coral gets a lead accent wall and activists have fresh outrage material. Do it weekly for maximum impact. The fish will thank you... probably while evolving extra eyes.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Disclaimer: The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting conditions.